Ep 97: Reclaiming Our Time and Creativity through Fair Play in the Household with Eve Rodsky and special guest Co-host Caren Lettiere

Ep 97: Reclaiming Our Time and Creativity through Fair Play in the Household with Eve Rodsky and special guest Co-host Caren Lettiere

by | Mar 8, 2023 | INVESTED - Podcast Episodes, Podcast

Welcome to this special Season Seven finale episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast, released on International Women’s Day 2023. It feels like just right timing to bring this conversation to you, but the seeds for this episode have been germinating since last spring, when Jill Daniel of Happy Women Dinners came to me with an invitation. She asked whether my sister Caren, founder of Democracy Clothing, might be interested in hosting a brunch at her house in Los Angeles with best-selling author Eve Rodsky.

I had recently learned about Eve’s groundbreaking work, where she transformed her own “blueberries breakdown” into a catalyst for social change, applying her Harvard-trained background in organizational management to ask the simple yet profound question: What would happen if we treated our homes as our most important organizations?

Her New York Times bestselling book and Reese’s Book Club Pick, Fair Play, a gamified life-management system that helps partners rebalance their domestic workload and reimagine their relationship, has elevated the cultural conversation about the value of unpaid labor and care. In her highly anticipated follow-up, Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World, Eve explores the cross-section between the science of creativity, productivity, and resilience. Her journey and the tenets of both books came together in the Fair Play Documentary, a film by Jennifer Siebel Newsom in partnership with Hello Sunshine.

Needless to say, I encouraged Caren to say “yes” to this opportunity. I knew there would be synergy between Caren’s journey creating her hugely successful Unicorn brand Democracy Clothing, while raising two children and running a household, and Eve’s message. Jill gathered an incredible community of women for brunch that day where we gifted all of them with size inclusive Democracy jeans through a try-on experience that was empowering and a conversation between Jill, Caren and Eve that was profound.

When Eve said yes to being a guest on my podcast and it came time to interview her, I knew I wanted to include Caren in this conversation. What follows is an intimate look at the values and insights Eve has woven into her two books and an exploration of what Eve has learned about living an E.P.I.C. life.

As Eve shares at the end of this episode, the Mother’s Quest Podcast and this conversation between the three of us is also “unicorn space.” We’re so grateful to share it with you. We hope that what you hear sparks conversations with your own partner and children that bring to light and make more fair the division of labor in your household and that you use this as a permission slip to reclaim your own time and creativity in your E.P.I.C. life.

Content Note: Eve speaks in powerful ways and sometimes that includes a few carefully chosen bad words.  I encourage you to listen to this episode in privacy or to pop in some ear buds if you are with your children.

About Eve Rodsky:

Eve Rodsky transformed a “blueberries breakdown” into a catalyst for social change when she applied her Harvard-trained background in organizational management to ask the simple yet profound question: What would happen if we treated our homes as our most important organizations? Her New York Times bestselling book and Reese’s Book Club Pick, Fair Play, a gamified life-management system that helps partners rebalance their domestic workload and reimagine their relationship, has elevated the cultural conversation about the value of unpaid labor and care. In her highly anticipated follow-up, Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World, Rodsky explores the cross-section between the science of creativity, productivity, and resilience. Described as the ‘antidote to physical, mental, and emotional burnout,’ Rodsky aims to inspire a new narrative around the equality of time and the individual right to personal time choice that influences sustainable and lasting change on a policy level. Rodsky’s work is backed by Hello Sunshine—Reese Witherspoon’s media company whose mission is to change the narrative for women through storytelling. Rodsky was born and raised by a single mom in New York City and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband Seth and their three children.

Connect with Eve:

Eve’s Books and Documentary Mentioned in this Episode:

About this Episode’s Co-Host Caren Lattiere:

Caren Lettiere is the Founder and President of Democracy Clothing, the casual lifestyle brand designed for the modern, multitasking woman who grew up with fashion, then got busy with life. Caren is fueled by a passion for making fashion accessible, affordable and ageless.

Best known for its “Ab”solution jeans with fit technology, Democracy Clothing embraces women of all shapes and sizes, providing them with confidence-building clothing that helps them look good and feel good, while doing good.

Since launching the Democracy brand, Caren has successfully led her dynamic dream team through a period of unprecedented growth. In November 2019, Democracy launched their e-commerce site, www.democracyclothing.com, to facilitate an even closer connection to the brand’s loyal customers. Following the expansion into e-commerce, Caren helped secure a partnership with HSN and has become Democracy’s spokesperson to a live nationwide audience.

With her knack for storytelling and her authentic enthusiasm in front of the camera, Democracy has risen through the ranks at HSN establishing a following for it’s multigenerational appeal.

Alongside Democracy, Caren’s proudest accomplishment is the fulfilling family life she’s built with her husband of over 30 years, David, and their amazing kids Nicole and Josh.

Connect with Caren:

Topics Discussed in this Episode:

  • Eve’s experience as a “parental child” supporting her disabled brother and caring for her single mother
  • The influences that led Eve to believe she could do it all 
  • How Eve’s big dreams of smashing glass ceilings turned into smashing peas after she became a mother
  • The erasure of identity that happens for mothers and why we have to fight for an E.P.I.C. life 
  • We deserve permission to be unavailable from our roles and to do so takes power and unlearning 
  • Fair Play as a movement to reclaim our time and the toxic time messages that get in the way of our reclamation 
  • The importance of making our invisible labor visible with our children 
  • Why women feel ashamed to admit that the division of labor in their home is not fair
  • The number one issue Eve heard from men about why they hated home life and how the boundaries, systems, and communication formula can shift that
  • Using Fair Play’s Card Deck to engage in mindful conversation about domestic life with our families  
  • Eve’s description of Unicorn Space as an outlet for our passion and purpose
  • Eve’s 3 C’s: Curiosity, Connection, & Completion 
  • The biggest key to mothers granting permission to invest in themselves 

This Episode’s Challenge: 

Eve challenges us to discover once again, our individual identity separate from our roles. She wants us to look for a trusted accountability partner, and report to that person one day next week, that you prioritized doing something outside of your roles as a parent, partner or professional. Take one day off and do something completely for yourself. 

We welcome you to share your report in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group so we can inspire one another!

This Episode is dedicated by Bridgid Coulter Cheadle

Bridgid Coulter Cheadle is an award winning, serial entrepreneur and philanthropist with a decades long history of advocating for access to education and protection of the environment. Bridgid is celebrated for her family’s philanthropic work with a focus on climate change, social justice, political decency, women’s equity and education for the historically marginalized.

Principal of her eponymous design studio, a boutique interior and design-build firm with offices in Santa Monica and Hawaii, her focus is on residential, hospitality, creative office space and furniture design. Established over fifteen years ago, Bridgid approaches each project whether for an individual client, a brand or design-build development; as an artistic venture whilst providing exceptional development from concept to administration. Her well recognized signature textile collections incorporate her own personal painting and design work that have been inspired by her avid travel and perception of nature.

In 2018 Bridgid founded Blackbird Collective, a for-profit public benefit corporation and the preeminent private membership collective for women of color and allies to create positive social and economic change for each other and the world. In its exquisitely designed Culver City Flagship location, Blackbird is a curated network of work, wellbeing and creative programming studios offering inspired space for entrepreneurs, makers, storytellers, executives, practitioners, trailblazers, content creators and changemakers to gather and work both individually and together, both in person and virtually — grounded by a love of storytelling.

With professional resources shared with aligned peers, experts and practitioners to support productivity, wellbeing, creativity and advocacy; Blackbird is a joy-filled place in aligned community where you don’t have to go it alone — where wellbeing includes the full spectrum of wellness to include nourishment of the physical, mental self with societal belonging. In 2020, Bridgid founded Blackbird Alliance, the non-profit sister organization to the collective, to further support advancement through sponsorship, mentorship and technical training.

She is a graduate of UCLA and serves on several company boards. In her free time, Bridgid enjoys fine art, playing board games, and solving the ongoing puzzle of juggling family life with her acting, entrepreneurial, and interior design careers.

She is the proud mother of two with the most supportive hubby; and she enjoys board games—and the puzzle of juggling family life with acting and interior design.

Connect with Bridgid Coulter Cheadle

 

You Might Like to Tune Into These Other Related Episodes:

Special Thanks To Jill Daniel of Happy Women Dinners

Happy Women Dinners is the brainchild of food writer, gourmet cook, and publicist Jill Daniel.  As a food writer, Jill wrote about food from one coast of the country to the other. With Happy Women Dinners, Jill has brought together fantastic food and speakers with a focus on women.  Happy Women Dinners events are held in intimate settings and limited to small groups of women.

Announcement

The Mother’s Quest Podcast will take a break between seasons until May. Make sure to sign up for email updates at mothersquest.com and join the free Facebook Group at www.mothersquest.com/community to stay connected and  informed about all the good things coming.

Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.

Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).

Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest

Encore: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten

Encore: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten

by | May 30, 2019 | Podcast, PURPOSEFUL - Podcast Episodes

I’m honored to bring you a final episode in a weekly series I’ve released this May in honor of Mother’s Day and the Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge I facilitated in the private group.

The other morning, as I searched my intuition for what episode to end the month with, in a flash I thought about this conversation with my friend Jenjii Hysten. At the 40 minute mark, the discussion, real and vulnerable, in which we talk about not only our differences as women of different races and religions, but also our common humanity as mothers of sons, still stands out as one of the most powerful moments in now over 60 conversations I’ve recorded.

So much has changed since we released that episode. Trump, recently elected at the time of recording, of course has now been President for several years and his administration has only deepened the divides and injustices that were already with us. My son Ryan did decide to visit Jenjii and Franklin’s ministry, an experience that profoundly touched him and impacted the speech he shared at his bar mitzvah, a beautiful event that Jenjii and Franklin attended with their two sons. All our boys are now years older, and all deepened their own social awareness in ways both painful and empowering. And Jenjii and I have each stepped into our own activism in different ways, each committing to powerful conversations to build bridges of awareness, understanding and transformation. Ones that I’ve recorded with Mothers Against Police Brutality co-founder Sara Mokuria and with Trayvon Martin’s mother, Sybrina Fulton are linked here.

Jenjii says that she is still committed to Living out Loud, the guiding theme you’ll hear her talk about. But now she has a much clearer sense of what that really means. She is currently writing a book, and though she and her husband decided to close their ministry, their consulting business is thriving, they’ve joined another church where they preach, and she says she has learned that her life is her ministry. When we spoke today to catch up, I told Jenjii that sounded to me like one powerful Manifesto and possibly the title of her book.

Whether you heard it once before, or its new to you, I hope you enjoy this episode. And that these reflections and the conversation that follows may spark you to claim your own manifesto, to reach out to build your own bridges of awareness and connection, and to live your own Life Out Loud. 

Much appreciation,

P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Click forward now to pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.

I am honored to bring you this intimate, inspired conversation with Jenjii Hysten, a mother, coach, and community leader who I deeply admire.

I have known Jenjii for almost a decade now, through my connection with her husband Franklin. But in recent months, Jenjii’s raw and vulnerable sharing about what it is like to be the mother of two black boys and fear for their safety, caused me to move past my worry of saying or doing the wrong thing and reach out to her in a whole different way.

Our honest conversation about the ways in which we’ve stepped out of our comfort zones to live out loud and forge connections with one another based on our common humanity, as mothers of sons, was one of the most powerful moments I have had yet on the Mother’s Quest Podcast.

Jenjii is an advocate, teacher, student, facilitator and a voice for the voiceless. She was born in Los Angeles but says that Oakland raised her. She studied Interdisciplinary-Studies with an emphasis on Urban/Economic Development at UC Berkeley, holds a CompassPoint Executive Director certificate and is an ordained minister.

In her early 20s, she worked with the Children’s Defense Fund for a program called Freedom School and says it saved her life. This is where she learned the beauty of Servant Leadership, which is one of her core values. As the Founder of SOS, Saving Our Sisters Saving our Selves, over the course of 10 years, she served hundreds of girls throughout the Bay Area. In her 20+ years working, Jenjii has served as a Program Director, Executive Director, Dean of Students, Curriculum Designer, started New Life Ministries with her husband Franklin, and is currently the Co-founder and CEO of Hysten Consulting, LLC.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. I was struck by the concept of rhythm, and how it can manifest in our lives, our children, our bodies, our communities, and perhaps most importantly, our collective humanity. I hope you will leave the conversation, as I did, inspired to think about the ways in which you can find your rhythm and live out loud in your own E.P.I.C. life.

In This Episode We Talk About:

  • Being on a quest to “live out loud” and what that means for your life
  • How our kids show us who they are through their words, actions, dreams, and challenges
  • The importance of passion and purpose
  • Being a servant leader and in turn, raising them as well
  • How Jenjii’s own battle with diabetes saved her and taught her about following her body’s rhythm and the importance of sleep, exercise, food and stress reduction
  • My visit to Jenjii and Franklin’s church and how humanity connects us regardless of class, race or religion

Resources and Topics Mentioned:

Announcements:

Join the Manifesto Challenge to Win Exciting Prizes!

In honor of Mother’s Day, I kicked off a five day Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge in the private Facebook group. More about the inspiration behind the challenge in my episode with Graeme Seabrook.

Each day, I shared a reflective prompt to help you claim the next chapter in your life and hosted a different mother, who shared their stories and their #oneminutemommanifesto for inspiration.

All of these resources are still in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, so it’s never too late to come on over and participate.

Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year

Anyone else feel like they need a spring reset to their year?

A few months ago, we declared February the new January and facilitated a Mother’s Quest Workshop/Virtual Milestone Hike experience to help us all start again.

Using photos from my favorite local hike, I took a small group on a virtual journey to:

✨Reflect on our last chapter (as we ascend)
✨Decide what we want to release (using an image of a big bad bonfire!) and what we want to carry forward
✨Then, set intentions along the E.P.I.C. guideposts for our new chapter.

There’s a special planning sheet we created to guide you and help you document the whole process.

🌟Truthfully, we can start fresh any time we choose.🌟

If you decide you want to reset and begin again, today, this afternoon or this weekend, using this experience and worksheet to support you. Just sign up here.

Spark Your E.P.I.C. Life or 90 Minute Clarity Coaching Session

If you’re feeling a desire to press “pause” on the busyness and reflect on your vision for this year, what’s working and what needs to shift, and what key guidepost would help you move forward more intentionally, I’d love to support you with a one-on-one 90-minute clarity coaching session.

If you are interested in the Spark Your E.P.I.C. Life Series or another way of working with me, please send an email to julie@mothersquest.com for a complimentary 30 minute discovery session.

Acknowledgments:

A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:

Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto 
Sage B. Hobbs 
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali 
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko 
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach 
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs 
Erin Kendall 
Niko Osoteo 
Erik Newton 
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast

Support the Podcast

If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.

If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com

Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.

Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).

Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/