by Julie Neale | May 19, 2023 | Uncategorized
It doesn’t just have to be Mother’s Day to gift ourselves and the ones we love!
This month and every month we celebrate YOU.
You are a mom.
And you’re aware of how much motherhood has transformed you.
You’re also a seeker with big dreams.
And you’re committed to living a life of purpose and connection.
Mother’s Quest provides inspiration, coaching, and community for mothers like you on a journey to create what we call an E.P.I.C. Life.
Look inside this guide, filled with founder favorites and special picks from past podcast guests, and find some treasures that can bring you joy on your E.P.I.C. Life Path.
Mana Minerals
Jen Kem curates the most beautiful collection of gems and crystals. Jacob and I love watching the live sales on IG and bidding on our favorites.
Link to Mana Minerals
Hello Audio
I’m loving the intimacy of private podcast feeds right now…and thinking of one for Mother’s Quest. You can create your own with Hello Audio and get 5% off forever with the MQ affiliate link.
Link to Hello Audio
Mother’s Quest Inspiration Guide: Spark Your E.P.I.C. Life (Vol. 1 – Engage) and the Tiny book course
The experts at Get it Done helped me publish my Inspiration Guide through their Tiny Book Course. I recommend their courses and done for you services (including book design)for all
your book creation needs.
Link to Inspiration Guide
Link to Courses
I usually complete my planner reflection pages with a cup of tea by my side: Numi Matcha in the morning and Roobois at night. My tea stays hot now that I discovered this beautiful insulated cup from Corksicle.
Mother’s Quest Planner
Link to Planner
Corkcicle Paper Rifle Co. Insulated Travel Coffee Cup with Lid, 16 oz
Link to cup
Numi Organic Tea Rooibos
Link to tea
Hamilton Women’s Analogue Quartz Watch with Stainless Steel Strap
Trouble managing time like me? Don’t forget about the power of a beautiful watch as a tool. This is my absolute favorite, a gift from my husband Chris. Due to my ADHD time-blindness, looking at my watch often is a necessity..love that it’s so pretty to look at!
Link to watch
Outer Outdoor Couch
Looking to create an outdoor living room? This sustainably crafted waterproof couch has become our favorite place to hang out during the summer. $300 off with the MQ code
Link to Outer Couch
Oura Ring
On my quest to get more sleep, this beautifully designed sleep tracking ring gives me data that shifts my behavior. I’m a night owl, but when my sleep and readiness scores dip too low, I get myself to bed earlier! Good grad gift for your college-age kids too.
($40 off with my referral code)
Link to Oura ring
UGG Duffield Throw
Whether watching the latest season of Bridgerton or Ted Lasso, I love to snuggle on the couch with my guys and our favorite blanket. It’s the perfect weight, softness and color.
Link to throw
Recess Pickleball Paddles Set of 2
When you love tennis but have trouble getting to the ball these days…you play pickleball! Our family has so much fun playing together and I’ve been eyeing these fun rackets for myself!
Link to Pickleball Paddles
Little Words Project & Bullets4Life Bracelets
I love bracelets that have a message. Choose your own meaningful words with the Little Words Project Bracelets and match it with a bracelet from Bullets4Life.
15% off personalized discount for Little Words bracelets with code MOTHERSQUEST
Link to Little Words Project
Bullets4Life takes bullets off the street, replacing the gunpowder with a message on paper that matters to you.
Link to Bullets4Life
COCOFLOSS Coconut Oil–Infused Woven Dental Floss
Don’t discount good mental hygiene for living an E.P.I.C. life! In all seriousness, this floss, infused with coconut oil (a natural antimicrobial) and irresistible aromas, soothes your gums and boosts your mood.
Link to floss
Canvas print and notecards, Art with Heart byJenksy
Jen Jenkins Dohner created this piece live during the 5 Year Mother’s Quest Celebration, capturing themes she heard throughout. It’s stunning!! Now on sale as a print or notecards. Jen has also created the cover art for the Mother’s Quest Inspiration Guide and Live Your EPIC Year planner cover.
Link to Art with Heart
Democracy
My sister Caren’s brand, Democracy clothing, is my “go to” to look good and feel good while doing good (actually while doing anything!) Here I’m wearing the “Itty Bitty Boot” jean while volunteering at Circle of Mothers.
Link to Democracy Clothing $1 of every order in May will be donated to Circle of Mothers Listen to Caren’s Podcast Episode here
Judabud Jewelry
Judy, mom to transgender model and activist Corey Rae, puts so much care and detail into her hand-carved jewelry…the perfect gift to give ourselves.
Link to Judabud Jewelry
Code MOTHERSQUEST10 for 10% off
Listen to the episode with Judy and her daughter Corey here
Whole Human Mama – Mama Bundle
The Mama bundle…from the “Mom for Moms” Graeme Seabrook. Journal, Planner and Momfirmations Deck help you put yourself first.
Link to Mama Bundle
Listen to Graeme’s Podcast Episode here
Lindsay Pera’s Oracle Cards
Drawing a card from podcast guest Mystic Society Lindsay Pera’s co-created Oracle Deck is part of my daily morning practice. Beautiful and inspiring words always provide guidance.
Link to Oracle Cards
Listen to Lindsay’s Podcast Episode here
Eve Rodsky’s fair play deck and books Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space
Recaim Your Time and Creativity – Eve Rodsky’s books Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space are the perfect gift for yourself for Mother’s Day. Grab the Fair Play Cards as a tool for conversation with your partner and children about household labor. Listen to the podcast for extra insight and inspiration
Link to Fairplay Deck
Link to Unicorn Space Book
Listen to Eve’s Podcast Episode here
From Scratch at Home
I loved following podcast guest Tembi Locke’s epic journey this year as her memoir became an award-winning Netflix hit. Explore themes of resilience, love, grief, family, travel, motherhood, and cooking from the comfort of your own home with her book, our episode,
the Netflix show or even a self-guided course.
Book Link Here
Course Link Here
Listen to Tembi’s Podcast Episode Here
Circle of Mothers
Sometimes, the best gift is one we give to others. I invite you to listen to my episode with Trayvon Martin’s mother, Sybrina Fulton, learn about the Circle of Mothers Healing Retreat and gift of healing to mothers who are grieving the loss of a child to senseless gun violence.
Support Circle of Mothers
Podcast Link Here
Did you find something you love? Which were your favorites? Tell us in the comments!
**This Gift Guide includes some affiliate links which means Mother’s Quest may also benefit from a small referral bonus from items you purchase. We only recommend things we love!
by Julie Neale | Sep 24, 2021 | Uncategorized
Hineni. Here I am.
I sat in temple on Rosh Hashana, six feet and an extra row away from the few congregants who chose to come in person, mask on and heart open, I listened to these words recited.
I’ve heard them every year…I was struck by them in a new way.
Here I am.
The expression used throughout the Torah during moments of profound change or crisis. An expression conveying millions of years of our individual and collective quest to “show up” in the presence of a force bigger than ourselves, for ourselves, and for our communities.
If ever there was a year demanding us to “show up” this has been one. From COVID to floods and fires and refugee crises…our consciousness has had a lot to hold.
It can be all too easy to shut down. To throw up our hands. And to say “what can I do?”
That question “what can I do?” is one I asked myself during the crisis that unfolded in Palestine and Israel In May 2021.
For days, watching the horrifying headlines, I felt powerless. Then these words came to me and I shared them in a post:
“Swirling in a sea of uncertainty
My voice, tenuously found over the last few years, silent again
I don’t know enough, I tell myself
But deep down, feel this to be untrue
In the quiet of my late-night scrolling, searching for answers I never find, instead I reveal some truths within.
We are all deeply connected
The harm to one mother and her child is harm to every mother and every child, regardless of our differences
A history of oppression and casting out can never justify more of the same
Extremism in any form becomes a cancer
Silence and doing nothing is a choice. A choice I cannot make.
So I will remember I am not alone
There are guides all around me
And ways to make an impact that will reveal themselves
If I just take a first step.”
The very next day, in a conversation with my mother, I learned about the Parents Circle, an organization of Palestinian and Israelis who have lost children or family members in the conflict and come together to work toward peace and reconciliation.
Soon after, I found myself recording a conversation with a Palestinian and Israeli mother from the Parents Circle for the Mother’s Quest Podcast.
And a week after that, I began to raise money for a $10,000 fund for bereaved Palestinian and Israeli mothers of the Parents Circle’s Women’s Group.
Since then, the path, for me, from recording to release, has been a slow but thoughtful one.
As I carefully edit the episode and prepare it for release next week, I’ve made a commitment to raise $5,000 of the $10,000 goal upfront before the episode comes out.
I’ve been moved by so many, like Jena Schwartz, the first to donate, who have already contributed in amounts of all sizes.
And we have more to go.
Though the height of the crisis in May has receded from the headlines, the path for peace and reconciliation is needed more than ever.
So I show up again now through this strangely spiritual medium for me… a screen on Facebook.
Just a day before Yom Kippur, I look within, and imperfectly grasp for words to invite you, whatever your faith, to be part of this cause.
I ask you to help me amplify the voices of mothers closest to this conflict. They are, I am certain, a key to any path forward.
Hineni. Here I am.
Where are you?
Will you join me?
https://parentscirclefriends.org/mothersquest/…
by Julie Neale | Jul 29, 2021 | Uncategorized
As the parent of a varsity high school athlete who has also struggled with mental health issues, I was struck by Simone Biles’ decision to withdraw from the Olympic competition and the issues it highlights. I decided to reach out to my friend, Mother’s Quest member, and mental performance consultant Lisa Bonta Sumii LCSW, CSW, for her thoughts. Even though our children may not all be “elite athletes,” there are lessons we can take away from these seven points Lisa offers, inspired by Simone Bile’s decision to prioritize her well-being.
Parenting a teen is an experience that is different than parenting at any other time in a child’s life – identities are emerging, peer relationships become a priority, teens push against the authority of the parent(s), brains aren’t fully developed yet, while teens are making meaningful decisions on a daily basis. If that teenager happens to be an elite athlete, it adds an additional dimension to the parenting experience. With Olympic Gymnast Simone Biles in the news for prioritizing her mental health, we’re reminded that elite athletes are humans. Athletes at this level sacrifice so much for the love of their sport, the opportunity to compete, and in Simone’s case, the chance to represent her country on the world’s biggest stage. Her journey is an inspiring one that highlights some very important points that every parent could benefit from.
- Mental health is just as important as physical health– there continues to be a lack of accurate information to differentiate mental health and mental illness. We all have mental health, just as we all have physical health. To stay mentally healthy, we must prevent, assess, and treat, just like we do to stay physically healthy. Mental health falls on a continuum and can be impacted by various forms of stress and pressures.
- The impact on mental health does not discriminate– you can be the GOAT in your sport (just like Simone Biles,) have all the gold medals in the world, have the most coveted sponsors, have popularity, be “rich and famous” and still endure the effect that pressure, sexual abuse, racial injustice, and the pandemic have on your mental health.
- Excellence vs. Perfection– supporting our kids to strive for excellence in their sport, not perfection, can keep the enjoyment and feelings of success high. If Simone continued to push, even though she didn’t feel completely herself, she could have seriously injured herself which could have led to long-lasting negative effects beyond the Olympic Games. On this day, her pursuit of excellence included protecting her mental health. Let’s commit to this every day!
- Pressures come in many forms– from our coaches, from the public, from the media, from within, and in this day and age- from social media. Today’s elite athletes deal with a world where their whole life can be captured, at any time, for public consumption. Not just in everyday life, but in every moment of competition. Their reactions and responses to their own performance are made available, analyzed, dissected, and judged. They experience immense pressure to be “liked,” and seen as successful. Implementing tools and practicing skills to manage all kinds of pressure is essential for optimal mental health.
- Making an impact can come in a supportive role- the elite athlete doesn’t have to be front and center to contribute to their team, all the time. Simone Biles used her voice to speak up for her own mental health. She feared her current mind space would put her at risk for physical injury. She chose to contribute to her team by giving moral support, by cheering for them, and by using her voice to encourage and uplift.
- Simone Biles, like any elite athlete, has value beyond their sport – teen athletes should not be defined by how they perform or the “score” that they get. Competing in their sport is one way to express who they are, it is NOT all of who they are.
Our children, who happen to be athletes, are human first!!
Lisa Bonta Sumii, LCSW, CSW is a sports social worker and mental performance consultant to elite athletes. In her private practice, she provides clinical support and performance consultation to collegiate, Olympic, and professional athletes. Lisa is also the Mental Health and Sports Performance Specialist at the Oakland Roots Sports Club, a professional men’s soccer team and purpose-driven club. Her 14-year-old daughter, Malaya, is a high-level softball player AND an awesome human being!!
by Julie Neale | Dec 22, 2020 | ..., Uncategorized
Some of My Favorite Gift Ideas: For the holidays this year, I created my first ever Mother’s Quest Holiday Guide. This guide celebrates people whose stories and journeys I want to shed a light on along with gifts that will help light your way. I highlight a member of the Mother’s Quest Community, my conversation with them on the podcast, and an item you can purchase from them as a gift to yourself or other people in your life.
To Download the Holiday Guide, click here
(more…)
by Julie Neale | Aug 21, 2020 | Uncategorized
Distance Learning Ready:
Suggestions From an Occupational Therapist on Helping Your Child Stay Engaged
When I reached out to my son Jacob’s Occupational Therapist, Danielle Cesarz, for her recommendations on what might support Jacob with distance learning, I was blown away by her insight and suggestions. I realized this was information that could help all parents, not just those whose children are differently-wired. So, I asked if I could share her perspective on the Mother’s Quest Blog and she said yes! Hope these ideas support your children as you begin this school year. Have some ideas of your own to share? Leave them in the comments or come on over to the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group and share with us there!
The COVID- 19 pandemic has impacted all facets of life: how we go about our daily activities, the way we work, our ability to parent, and our children’s development. Soon, our homes will become classrooms again. Our dining room table will transform back into our child’s desk. Our outdoor space will equate to the playground. As an OT, I have many parents asking me, “How do I set my child up for success with distance learning at home?” “What kinds of OT tools will help my child stay regulated, focused and engaged?
Learning is a social phenomenon. Kids benefit most from in-person learning because of the social emotional and sensory motor affordances it provides. There are silver linings, however, to learning at home. And right now it serves us well to engage in positive thinking.
A true silver lining to learning at home is the flexibility that it allows. Your children can write while standing up at a kitchen counter. They can listen to a ZOOM read aloud with their most favorite stuffie nestled in their lap. They can chew gum while completing their math worksheets. They can keep their most comfortable pajama bottoms that have holes in them on all day. They can squeeze playdough or a squishy ball fidget without distracting their peers. They can crunch on ice while working. They can blast the Hamilton sidetrack to get their creative “writing” ideas flowing.
Taking breaks throughout the day may no longer require special permission. They can take as long as they need to complete their written work without the pressure or comparison to their faster paced peers. They can school outside in the fresh air if they desire. And let the sound of the birds and the feel of the breeze calm their nervous systems. They can lower the lights in their room to calm their minds. They can pet their dog or cat to lower their heart rate while listening to a lecture. They can crunch on chips or sink their teeth into fresh fruit at a moment’s notice. They can re-apply roll-on essential oil to their wrist before a test. Schooling at home allows incredible flexibility to meet your child’s emotional regulation and sensory motor needs.
To my older daughter’s deep disappointment, I am not advocating that your child lie in bed to engage in school. Quite the contrary, as an OT, I am making some of the following recommendations to my families:
- Offer flexible seating to increase your child’s engagement and focus. Invest, if possible, in a swivel desk chair, wobble stool, inflatable ball, wedge seat cushion, or a portable lap desk. Show your child pictures online. Ask them what their preferences may be.
- Allow your child to change body positions throughout the day
- Use oral sensory input such a ice water, chewing gum, crunchy and chewy snacks to optimize arousal level
- Play preferred music while working.
- Per the recommendation of my younger daughter I stress the importance of maintaining a calm arousal level yourself. Co-regulation is KEY! As parents we need to provide empathy during stress, try to maintain a stable and safe environment with structured routines and logical consequences and model what it looks like to be calm and regulated.
- Take breaks as needed
- Kids need to move to learn. Build in a variety of movement breaks throughout the day. Kids need frequent exercise and movement to support their ability to attend and self-regulate. Ideas include:
-
- Do jumping jacks
- Log Roll
- Animal Walks
- Somersault
- Run outside
- Go for a walk
- Take a bike or scooter ride
- Climb
- Ball play
- Skip
- Swing
- Spin (in both directions)
- Hippety Hop
- Skateboard
- Go for a hike
- Jump
- Hula hoop
- Dance
- Roll over a therapy ball
- Spend time in nature
- Use structured work-outs or apps like Go Noodle, Cosmic Yoga for Kids, ALO GIVES or Swork- it Kids
In all honesty, am I eager to support my child’s learning at home? No!?! Am I freaking out about how I am going to manage work and parenting? ABSOLUTELY. Do I want my children to go back to school? YES!! There’s no denying that we can’t replace the impact in-person learning has on the development of our children however there is no harm in keeping a positive outlook that we are all in this together, keeping our communities safe and supporting our children with tools to thrive.
Danielle Cesarz, MS, OTR/L
Occupational Therapist
OT 4 Kids
Distance Learning Wish List
Kick Balance Board
Swivel Chair for Back Pain, Black
Wedge Cushion
Lap Desk
Junior Wobble Chair
Latex Stretch Chair
Kids’ Swivel & Office Chairs
Mobile Task Chair
Highlighted Line Writing Paper
Have you listented to this?
Back to School Milestone Hike: My Secret to Starting The School Year Well ✨
In this “Bite-Sized Reflection from Living my E.P.I.C. Life” Minisode I Talk About:
- How/when I learned about the importance of ending well to begin well at the youth development organization Alternatives in Action
- The transformative Milestone Hike Experience I had on my 40th birthday
- How I’ve used the same components of that hike to acknowledge milestones with my son Ryan (we even recorded a podcast episode about one on his 13th birthday!) including Back to School Milestone Hikes
- The ways I have taken that experience to create signature Mother’s Quest opportunities for reflection
- The Back to School Milestone Hike and Reflection Circle I’m offering if you’d like support packing up your lessons from the last chapter before starting a new school year
Hope this supports you or a mother preparing for Back to School in your life!
LISTEN HERE
✨ Back to School Virtual Milestone Hike and Reflection Circle ✨
If you’d like to go on a reflective milestone hike (virtually!) with me by your side, I have three spaces left for this Back to School Circle and one-on-one coaching experience. You can sign up here: www.mothersquest.com/backtoschool
by Julie Neale | May 9, 2020 | INVESTED - Podcast Episodes, Uncategorized
This Mother’s Day: Choose Yourself and Reclaim Your E.P.I.C. Life
As this message reaches your inbox, it’s Mother’s Day… in the midst of a global pandemic. And if you’re anything like the vast majority of the mothers I’ve been talking with, you’ve been feeling disoriented and like you’ve lost yourself, during these last few months. You may even be wondering “how am I ever going to come back home to myself?”
I had been feeling this way too…overwhelmed with fear, moving through all the stages of grief, and juggling demands at home that now included supporting my children’s distance learning, on top of all the other things.
For the first time in the three years since I launched the podcast, I had stopped recording and releasing episodes. And I honestly wondered whether my work even mattered. All around me, life as I knew it was literally shut down while we physically sheltered in place. And inside, I also felt shut down.
This is not the first time I felt this way or found my way out.
About a decade into motherhood, after navigating developmental delays with my oldest and five years of infertility to get pregnant with my youngest, I realized that in focusing so much on my own children and what they needed, I had lost parts of myself and sidelined my dreams. An experience I had one day, opening the door for two birds that got trapped in my home, and were crashing into the glass to get out, helped me realize that I felt trapped too and needed a door opened for me.
But I also realized that no one else could help me, unless I opened the door for myself and took the first tentative steps toward what I now call my E.P.I.C. life. That day, in addition to motherhood, I also chose myself. And living my E.P.I.C. life became a manifesto, a simple but enduring framework.
In this special Mother’s Day episode, I share clips from my introductory episode with reflections on the E.P.I.C. Life framework itself and clips from episodes with past guests, whose words of wisdom have been lighting my way right now. I hope these stories and messages may spark a return to yourself if you need it.
Listen in for special clips lighting my way from episodes I’ll be re-releasing this week as part of a special series to light the way in the midst of challenge:
Along with listening to these episodes, it was actually my son Ryan who really helped me. Telling him one night, while putting dishes in the dishwasher for what felt like the tenth time that day, that I was feeling depressed, he asked me “when was the last time you felt connected to your purpose, Mom? I notice you haven’t talked about Mother’s Quest in weeks.”
That question really sat with me. And then I remembered Graeme’s words from our interview again. Our stories matter. Our manifestos matter. And we need each other.
With that, and a few other sparks along the way, I got back to recording, I released an episode about the families seeking asylum at the border, a minisode about the creation of a “Pandemic Promise” to myself, and this Mother’s Day special episode that you’re listening to right now.
I also set in motion some epic plans for our third annual Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge, the one Graeme and I had created together. Taking place in the free Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, it’s a 7-day journey, beginning tomorrow, May 11th, to reclaiming ourselves, a chance to reflect together, along a new process I’m naming “CHOOSE,” and to create or refine our own manifestos for living our lives the way that matters, yes even in the midst of a pandemic.
As for me, I’ve learned on Mother’s Day, that in addition to spending time with my children, I need some time to myself. So, today I’ll be going on my favorite milestone hike, and when I reach the summit, I’ll sit down and listen to my favorite meditation, one called “Teshuvah” or “Return” in Hebrew, that brings new meaning to the idea of setting out on a journey and returning home. Of losing our center and finding it again.
So, this Mother’s Day, I invite you to do something that may help you find your center again, in whatever way could be possible given the real constraints in your life. And to consider exploring some questions: In what ways have you been feeling trapped? When was the last time you felt connected to your purpose? And how might you open a door for yourself…to choose yourself…and to take even just one tentative step closer to your version of an E.P.I.C. life?
Give Yourself a Gift this Mother’s Day!
Join us for the Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge
The Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge is a 7-day experience that will move you through a series of reflective prompts to support you in creating or refining a “manifesto” of your own to become an anchor in your life in these years that you are raising your children.
In addition to reflective prompts that I’ll share live in the group each morning, I’ve invited a different mother to also go live, to share their journey and manifestos and also to offer a tool or practice that would support the prompt we’re reflecting on.
This year, I’ll be exploring a new acronym mnemonic and framework “CHOOSE” that captures the process I went through when I claimed my manifesto…a process I realized has been with me in all the other times of my life when I shifted a perspective and moved myself forward in a powerful way.
Here is what’s in store for you in the next 7 days.
5/10 Mother’s Day with Graeme Seabrook – Both Graeme and I will be live in the group at some point to wish everyone a Happy Mother’s Day, welcome new members, share about why we co-created the challenge two years ago, and set the frame for the week.
5/11 Day 1: C with Lindsay Pera – “Claim” the experience or opportunity in front of you that calls you to something different; sometimes these are even painful moments you would not choose for yourself. Sometimes these feel like a “sign” that calls to you in mysterious ways. What is the “spark” for you?
5/12 Day 2: H with Jadah Sellner – “Hold space for reflection” give yourself an opportunity to pause and make meaning of what is happening so you can learn from it and consciously move forward in a different way
5/13 Day 3: O with Nic Strack – “Own the perspective” that is NOT serving you. What story are you telling yourself that feels outdated? Or what way of looking at something is feeling out of alignment or holding you back? Before you can move forward, it’s important to really look at where you are now.
5/14 Day 4: O with Jamie Greenwood – “Own a more empowering perspective” explore a new way of looking at something that resonates for you and that returns a sense of power to you
5/15 Day 5: S with Amy Walsh and Elsie Escobar – “Stake in the ground” put your stake in the ground and claim this new perspective by expressing it clearly (and sharing when/if you feel comfortable). This is the day when the manifesto itself comes into form. I’ve invited several key guests this day who will each offer a different creation method that you can utilize to help express yourself.
5/16 Day 6: E with Jessica Stong – “Explore one next step” begin to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be by taking setting intention for one action.
5/17 Day 7: Reflection and Celebration Circle An opportunity to come together via zoom after the challenge is over to reflect on the process, lessons learned and to share our manifestos with one another.
Sign up here to get daily reminders and to download the FREE Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge Reflection Journal.
If you’d rather listen than read, you can also go straight to the episode post here.
