I’m honored to share this special Father’s Day Episode featuring my very own father-in-law, David Neale. I started dating my husband Chris when I was only 19, so I realize David has been a source of inspiration and guidance in my life for over 30 years. How lucky I am to have had his example of leadership, impact, and joy for life to light my way for my entire adulthood!
The inspiration for this episode was sparked several months ago at a big milestone birthday celebration David organized to honor his 80th year. That celebration was also the launch of a new fund he initiated through the San Jose Rotary, inspired by his experience as a grandparent to my two boys, Ryan who is autistic, and Jacob who navigates dyslexia, ADHD and dysgraphia.
In this episode, we explore the stories and wisdom of David’s life, including his childhood in England, his move to Montreal and then San Jose, CA, his impactful work as the founder and CEO of The Core Companies, and all the thoughtful ways he shows up as a grandfather. We also talk about the Youth Empowerment Neurodiversity Fund, which Ryan and I have had the honor of helping to shape, alongside David and other Rotary committee members.
One of David’s most significant contributions in leadership has come through his innovative thinking and outside-the-box solutions for redevelopment housing, including the creation of Art Ark, an innovative housing community for artists in San Jose, Willow Housing, a Veteran’s housing project in Menlo Park, CA that includes access to critical support services, and most recently the Agrihood in Santa Clara, CA, a unique affordable housing project that includes retail and has an Urban Farm at its center.
His achievements are many, but as David says, his success did not happen in a straight line. His life journey was filled with plot twists, pivots, and even a few failures. Through it all, with my mother-in-law Anne by his side, he continued to believe in himself and his dreams. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did and leave inspired as I am to keep persevering through challenges, opening ourselves to new perspectives and out-of-the-box thinking, and knowing that each setback may bring us closer to all we’ve ever wanted.
About David Neale:
David Neale is a leader and visionary in real estate development, known for his commitment to community building and for his innovative approaches to affordable housing and redevelopment. A career that began in 1978 in Montreal brought David to San Jose, CA in the 1980s and led him to found The Core Companies in 1989. As CEO of The Core Companies, David has built a vibrant company and spearheaded transformative projects that have left a lasting imprint on the communities they serve.
Notable projects Core has completed with David at the helm include Art Ark, an innovative housing community for artists in San Jose, Willow Housing, a Veteran’s housing project in Menlo Park, CA that includes access to critical support services, and most recently the Agrihood in Santa Clara, CA, a unique affordable housing project that includes retail and has an Urban Farm at its center.
His leadership also extends into community engagement and education. David spent 16 years on the board of directors for the Silicon Valley Community Foundation and served as a founding member of the non-profit First Community Housing. His almost two decades of service on the San Jose Rotary recently led David to initiate a new Youth Empowerment Neurodiversity Fund, inspired by David’s experience with two of his grandchildren who are neurodivergent. Throughout his career, David exemplified a commitment to building projects that not only enhance the physical landscape but also uplift the lives of individuals and communities. His greatest accomplishment however is the family he has built with his wife of over 60 years, including his two children, and his four grandchildren.
San Jose Rotary Youth Empowerment Neurodiversity Fund Link to Donate (select the specific fund from the pull-down menu)
Topics Discussed in this Episode:
David’s childhood experiences in England and his mother’s transition from a stay-at-home mom to small retail store business partner.
The influence of David’s father’s ambition on his pursuit of independence and his adventures around the world.
The political upheaval in Montreal during the 1970s that led David to pursue his fate and a life and career near San Jose, CA.
David’s reflections on spending time with his grandchildren and mentoring them on life skills and overcoming challenges
David’s individual toasts at a recent family dinner, celebrating each grandchild’s unique qualities and stages in life, one example of how he mindfully engages with them.
David’s efforts to understand and champion his neurodivergent grandsons, Ryan and Jacob, and his leadership in starting the Youth Neurodiversity Empowerment Fund through the San Jose Rotary.
David’s impactful career in building communities, particularly in affordable housing, including the creation of the artist housing project, Art Ark. Also why building housing communities requires more than just the physical structures.
Reflections on personal lessons learned, through many pivots and failures, and his advice for us about how to more fully live our E.P.I.C. lives.
This Episode’s Challenge:
David invites us to embrace the understanding that life is not a straight line. He encourages us to adapt and pivot to new circumstances, recognizing that daily adjustments may be necessary. Despite the obstacles that may arise, David urges us to never give up on pursuing our goals and to engage in activities that we truly love. By cultivating a passion for what you do, he believes that success will naturally follow. David also emphasizes the importance of asking questions and maintaining an inquisitive mindset, as continuous learning is a fundamental aspect of personal growth. As we move through our own epic life journey, David’s invitation is to embrace failures as valuable lessons and to persevere with unwavering determination, knowing that each setback brings you closer to your ultimate destination.
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). As Mother’s Quest approaches 100 episodes, we invite you to help us spread the word by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Help us reach 100 reviews to honor 100 episodes this Season Eight of the Mother’s Quest Podcast! You can also support the podcast by making a contribution or joining one of our memberships at our Patron Page on Ko-Fi.com.
This Throwback Thursday episode releases just one day after winter solstice in the northern hemisphere, the darkest day of the year which also marks the moment when we begin to usher in more light. It’s also just days after the anniversary of my father’s death.
What I’ve learned again and again with the waves of grief that come and go, is that life is the other side of death, love the other side of grief, and light is always on the other side of darkness.
I hope this solocast episode, about the lessons I learned during my Dad’s death and afterward, might provide some guidance to you or someone you know going through a similar experience with a loved one. Wishing you more life, love and light this holiday season.
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
I hope you’ve been listening over the past few months to our Throwback Thursday series…episodes I’m curating from the archives for you to listen to again, or for the first time, if they are new to you.
This Throwback Thursday, there were so many reasons I decided to select this episode titled “Weaving our Ancestral Threads with Genealogist Nicka Smith.”
First, Nicka has had some incredible recent accomplishments that I would love for you to explore. One in particular, is the debut of her first short film entitled “A Dream Delivered: The Lost Letters of Hawkins Wilson” about one family’s story that Nicka explains is an exceptional example of why it’s important to thread the past to the present.
The second reason I decided to share this episode was because of a call I received today. It was from a woman who was a former student of my grandmother Molla, who found and heard my episode with my father, David Lieberman. This woman was searching for years to learn about her mentor who she lost touch with and I’ve been searching for years to find students who benefited from my grandmother’s teaching. Now, because of the power of podcasting and a reverence for threading the past to the present, we’ve found one another.
All of this feels especially poignant because it’s still within the first year of my father’s death. As I welcome you to listen to this episode, I’m sending special love out to all of us missing our loved ones and wishes that the wisdom from Nicka in this conversation, inspires us anew to weave our own threads from past to the present, and to use our loved one’s legacies as inspiration for living our lives to the fullest.
Resources Mentioned in Opening
A Dream Delivered: The Lost Letters of Hawkins Wilson | Full Film | Ancestry ®
A Dream Delivered: The Lost Letters of Hawkins Wilson details the life of Hawkins Wilson, a formerly enslaved man who utilized the Freedmen’s Bureau to try to reconnect with his family. Hawkins’ letters have been seen everywhere from the National Archives website to text books and more. The letters so clearly describe the destructiveness of enslavement while also showing the hopes the formerly enslaved had in repairing the havoc the slavery system caused their families.
Hawkins’ May 11, 1867 letter drafted at the Freedmen’s Bureau in Galveston, Texas – the site of the first ever Juneteenth – includes a detailed account of which specific slaveholders enslaved his family members and important details such as the locations where they were enslaved.
Those of us who do genealogy research know how incredible Hawkins’ account is, yet we also know that there are a lot of factors out of our control that determine whether or not we can find out more about him and his family despite the large amount of information he gave.
Did Hawkins and his family ever reunite? Do records that document his enslavement still exist? All of these questions, and more, are answered in the short film.
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
This month, in the Mother’s Quest Community, we’ve been celebrating the power of books. It made me think about this past episode with my mother Fran and her dear friend Sandy Klasky about their then 50 year old book club. This year, the book club will be turning 55 and is still going strong, even through the pandemic.
Listen to this conversation, and you’ll be inspired by the importance of friendship, the potential of books to bring people together, and the lessons we can learn from two grandmothers who have been through challenging times in our country and have lessons to share with us about what got them through.
Other Invitations To Celebrate the Power of Books:
✨Listen to this episode with author Andrea Scher where I talk about the Becoming 50 Manifesto I wrote using book spine poetry. I was inspired by an idea in Andrea’s book Wonder Seeker.
✨Get a copy of the Mother’s Quest Inspiration Guide or gift a copy to a special mother in your life
✨Sign up for the Tiny Book Course from my friends at Get it Done Productions and write a book of your own! Code JulieNeale will get you 10% off the course.
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
“We need these manifestos. We need each other. And we need each other’s stories.” — Graeme Seabrook
For Season Seven, I’m excited to introduce our Throwback Thursdays segments!
In honor of Mother’s Quest turning 5 (such a great milestone!) we will be revisiting older episodes from the archives with messages that resonate more than ever. Whether you’ve heard the episode before, or its entirely new to you, I hope you find some treasures in these conversations that help you more fully live your E.P.I.C life.
This Thursday, in honor of our Mother’s Quest May Manifesto Challenge, I wanted to bring back this episode with Graeme Seabrook, known as “the Mom for Moms” which started the Challenge four years ago. Graeme bases her approach to coaching on the belief that you need to put yourself first in order for you to thrive. Following a traumatizing birth experience and postpartum depression with anxiety and PTSD, Graeme started her healing journey by teaching mothers and women to reclaim their humanity in a world and culture that expects women to be superhuman.
Listen in as Graeme shares with us the disillusionment she experienced in her first months of motherhood, and how she reached out for support to reclaim her life, something she then paid forward by creating and holding space for other mothers. You’ll also hear us lay out the inspiration for the Manifesto Challenge which has become an annual tradition. Unfortunately, Graeme has been ill over the last year. She’s set up a GoFundMe to help fund her medical expenses. Proceeds from the Manifesto Challenge Course this month, now a self-guided journey with Reflection Journal, will go to Graeme’s GoFundMe. After she has given so much to our community, we now have an opportunity to support her!
Not up for the Manifesto Challenge this year, or want to make an additional contribution? You can help Graeme’s healing journey by going directly to her GoFundMe:Fundraiser by Graeme Seabrook: Help Graeme Heal
This Year’s Manifesto Challenge + Live Zoom Celebration with Andrea Scher:
Join us for this year’s Manifesto Challenge! At the Mother’s Quest MemberVault, register for the Challenge and move through a reflective process, with video recordings and a special journal to capture your thoughts. All will lead you to create a guiding framework, or manifesto, that can become an anchor for how you want to live your life. Then celebrate with me, recent podcast guest Andrea Scher and fellow MQ community members on May 24th. Register herefor the live zoom event. Visitherefor the episode with Andrea
Mother’s Day has passed but it’s the right time to invest in ourselves.
Reflect. Create. Celebrate.
Topics Discussed in this Episode:
The experiences that shaped Graeme’s childhood and conception of motherhood, including her observations of her own mother’s experience parenting, the many times her family moved, and how her home and heart landed in Charleston
Graeme’s honest retelling of her early months of motherhood where she remembers holding her baby and feeling like there was a wall between them
The E.P.I.C. spark moment that came when she shared her story online and received an outpouring of messages from other mothers going through the same experiences
Graeme’s “true truths” and the concept from her current favorite author, Octavia Butler, about God
Graeme’s description of the Ten Articles in the Mother’s Bill of Rights, how she champions and helps mothers reclaim themselves through this framework, and the support she offers in her Mom Center.
Graeme’s E.P.I.C. Snapshot moment revealed reflections on the legacy of our matriarchs, the mothers we claim for ourselves, and how we can become the ancestor we aspire to now.
A description of our co-created #OneMinuteMomManifesto challenge.
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
When my father, David Lieberman, died in December, I put the podcast on pause. And in many ways, it felt like I also put parts of my life on pause. But after months of navigating waves of grief, I’m finding my way back into my life and back to my voice.
Through laughter and tears, I recorded a special solocast to officially close out Season Six of the Mother’s Quest Podcast so I can begin again. It felt like part of my healing to share my stories with you and I’m hopeful that there may be something in these reflections that can be meaningful and healing for you too.
Death is one of the few things we can all count on in our lives. And yet it’s one of the things we are most reluctant to talk about. I hope this exploration of my experience during my father’s death, and the lessons I learned, might support you to open yourself to conversations about death. In so doing, you’ll open yourself more fully to life and love.
“There is nothing so whole as a broken heart” – a quote I cut out in a magazine while working on my vision board the other day. It resonated immediately. There were so many people, only a few of you who I mention by name in this episode (but you know who you are!) whose wisdom, compassion, and caring made moving through this painful process not only bearable but at times beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You helped me and my family stay whole and I am so grateful.
Lessons To Guide You Through the Death of a Loved One In this episode, I walk you through the eight lessons I learned through my father’s death, my grief, and most importantly– my love for my Dad and my family.
1) Look for the Signs
2) Find Your Guides
3) Closure Can be Healing
4) Lean Into Your Rituals. Make Them Your Own.
5) Let Laughter In and Invite the Possibility that the Unexpected Can be a Gift
These reflections are based on my experience navigating the death of my father who lived a full and happy life until the age of 84. I am certain that losing a child or someone of any age to a traumatic situation is a whole different experience. I do want to share a link to an episode I recorded with Trayvon Martin’s mother, Sybrina Fulton, who tragically lost her son in senseless gun violence. I invite you to listen to this episode for a different and important perspective on grief: From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s mother Sybrina Fulton.
This Episode’s Challenge:
While it’s not easy to talk about, having conversations about death is one of the best ways to prepare ourselves and those around us for when the time comes– because we’ll never know when it might happen. So say “yes” to conversations about death and dying. Use the resources at Death over Dinner to gather with friends and family for these conversations. Also have meaningful conversations, and consider recording them, like I did with my father, with the important people in your lives. Finally, enjoy the journey, cherish the dash between the years from when you were born and when you will die and continually ask yourself the question “What is it you want to do with your one wild and precious life?”
This Episode is dedicated byDonna Helete Donna Helete thrives in the realm of human connection. She’s a regenerative grief coach, bereavement counselor, relationship tender, mentor, educator, and community builder with experience in non-profit leadership. She holds space for conversations around grief, love, life, and death. She walks a path toward elderhood, bringing with her real life credentials which include the death of her husband of 28 years in September 2015. Through her experience, she emphasizes the regenerative nature of grief, which allows us to be renewed again and again. To learn more about her work, visit donnahelete.com and learn about her one on one sessions and workshop offerings.
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
