Ep 27: Courageous Conversations about Race with Nicole Lee

Ep 27: Courageous Conversations about Race with Nicole Lee

Hello and welcome to Episode #27 of the Mother’s Quest Podcast and the first of several I’ll be sharing for an initiative I’ve launched called Women Podcasters in Solidarity.

The Initiative is a commitment I’ve made, alongside some other amazing women podcasters, to raise awareness and dollars to uncover and dismantle the ways racism, both conscious and unconscious, are impacting our society. I planned the Initiative after viewing the haunting video of Philando Castile’s death and of his girlfriend Diamond Reynolds and her young daughter in the back of the cop car in its aftermath. But, the events of Charlottesville since then have brought another level of urgency to this effort.

I’m so grateful that I found Nicole Lee, an incredible African American woman and mother, as our first guest on this topic, to light the way for how we as mothers, and especially those of us who are white women like myself, can take steps to make a difference, beginning with our own children and our own communities.

Nicole is a strategist, executive coach and public policy advocate through her diversity and inclusion consulting firm, Lee Bayard Group, LLC. And she’s a practicing human rights attorney through the Black Movement Law Project she co-founded, which provides legal and strategy assistance to Black Lives Matter protestors and organizations. Social justice and human rights have been part of her character since she was a child where she got her pioneering spirit especially from her own mother, one of the first black women to be ordained in her Christian denomination.

Nicole brings her experience as a mother and advocate to training parents in how to have courageous conversations with our children about diversity, inclusion and equity. I had the opportunity to learn from Nicole on a recent webinar on the subject, an overview for a more detailed class launching in September, that was also attended by Mallory Schlabach who offers this week’s dedication.

Nicole and I start the episode with shared agreements and intentions for courageous conversation, committing to one another to come to the podcast recording with an open heart, a commitment to move through discomfort and risk imperfection. I vowed not to edit anything out and we both named a shared desire to plant seeds in mothers to raise awareness for themselves and their children.

We explored how we can open channels of communication with our children, holding a “growth mindset” for them in relation to diversity, allowing them to make mistakes as they share what’s on their minds and not “shushing” them when they do. Nicole also shared the importance of expressing our values to our children in ways that they understand.

When I asked her where we could invest in change, she challenged us to focus on our own communities and to identify some hard conversations we’ve been putting off. She emphasized the importance of introspective work to realize what’s in our way, determine what we need to be “ready” and then go get ready and have them.

I committed to doing this work and to having Nicole join us to continue the conversation and give me an opportunity to check in on my progress in the private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group on Wednesday, September 13th at 11:30 am PST.

As it has been for me, I hope this podcast episode, and the links and resources in the show notes, will be part of what you need to get ready to have the brave conversations with your own children and your own communities. As Nicole says at the end of our conversation, “we’ve got this.” We are not being asked to do anything that is not within our grasp. It’s not easy but we can get it done.

This Week’s Challenge:

Our challenge this week is to go back and process our own patterns and thinking about race, diversity and inclusion, to identify what courageous conversations we’ve been putting off, to get what we need to be ready, and then go have them.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • How having an open heart and articulating intentions create meaningful opportunity for brave conversations about our differences

  • Nicole’s reflection on why many black women may not want to talk with white women about racism and how to seek out spaces, and resources, to explore these issues if you’re white and have genuine intention to learn

  • Nicole’s childhood and how she was driven at an early age to fight for social good

  • An exploration of the E.P.I.C Guideposts in relation to the topic of diversity and inclusion

  • The role mothers have in planting awareness and knowledge in their children that will help transform our society

  • The importance of cultivating real friendships across differences and how color blindness and an unwillingness to have tough conversations can block authentic connection

  • The importance of having a growth mindset in the context of race and not to “shush” our children when they share what’s really on their minds

  • Expressing our values in a way our children will understand

  • Ideas for investing and supporting the Movement for Black Lives and Nicole’s opinion that getting involved locally in advocacy on police relations, and having the hard conversations, in our own communities, are the most important steps we can take.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Announcements

Women Podcasters in Solidarity
After the events that took place in Charlottesville, I’m even more committed to a quest I’ve been on to understand the roots of racism and bigotry, how it still shows up today, and how I can become a better ally and advocate to fight against it.

I’m raising awareness for myself, and inviting you to do the same, through this special podcast episode. I’m also pledging to donate to an organization supporting the Movement for Black Lives and to invite you to donate too leading up to Giving Tuesday in November. More on this to come soon.

If you are a women podcaster yourself, I’d love for you to make a similar pledge to use the power of your platform for this cause. You can learn more and join the initiative by signing up at mothersquest.com/solidarity.

Mother’s Quest Circle Pilot
You’re a mindful mother. And being present for your children in these years when you’re raising them is your highest priority. You’re also committed to making a positive impact in the world, something that feels even more important with all the challenges we currently face.

If the description above sounds like you, the Mother’s Quest Circle Pilot, launching this fall may be right for you.  This signature offering provides inspiration, coaching and community to spark your E.P.I.C. life with intimate in-person reflective sessions over 3-4 months.

Click www.mothersquest.com/mothers-quest-circle to learn and apply by September 10th. Questions? Email me at julie@mothersquest.com

Visit the Website
If you haven’t yet visited the website, head over to www.mothersquest.com to explore some of the ways you can get more connected. At the site, you can sign up for our email list (to get show notes delivered to your inbox and our new “Mothers on a Quest” features), click the link to join the Facebook group and press record to leave a voice message for me. You can also download the FREE Live Your E.P.I.C. Life Planning and Reflection Sheets.

Sign up! – Free 30 minute Discovery Session
I’m rolling out my new coaching offerings and having great conversations with women who are ready to live a more E.P.I.C. life and interested in coaching. If you’ve had a spark moment setting you on a new path or are at a crossroads but feel unsure, guilty or overwhelmed, I’d love to talk with you about how working with me could help light the way, get you clear about what you want, shift your mindset from fear to faith, and get you moving into action.

I’ve been there, I’m still on the journey myself, and I’d love to bring all I’ve learned from a decade of coaching, 13 years of motherhood and all the lessons from my podcast guests to support you. Send me an email at julie@mothersquest.com or sign up for a free discovery call by clicking this link if you’re interested in learning more.

Acknowledgements

A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:

  • Mallory Schlabach – Marketing Magic for Entrepreneurs
  • Katharine Earhart of Alesco Advisors
  • Jessica Kupferman of She Podcasts
  • Resistance Artist Jen Jenkins Dohner
  • Genese Harris
  • Tonya Rineer, founder of The Profit Party
  • Liane Louie-Badua
  • Cristin Downs of the Notable Woman Podcast
  • Erin Kendall of Fit Mom Go
  • Niko Osoteo of Bear Beat Productions
  • Erik Newton of The Together Show
  • Claire Fry
  • Divya Silbermann
  • Rachel Winter
  • Caren and Debbie Lieberman
  • Cameron Miranda
  • Fran and David Lieberman
  • Debbie and Alan Goore
  • Jenise and Marianne of the Sustainable Living Podcast

Support the Podcast

If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Two of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution http://mothersquest.com/be-a-supporter/

If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com

Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.

Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. lifeEngaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).

Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

Subscribe to the Podcast! We are available in these channels:

    

Episode #5: Live your E.P.I.C. Life to Help Your Children Thrive
Ep 25: Change the Conversation: Podcasting as a Tool for Transformation with Elsie Escobar

Ep 25: Change the Conversation: Podcasting as a Tool for Transformation with Elsie Escobar


I’m excited to bring this Episode #25 of the Mother’s Quest podcast to you with a podcasting leader, mentor and community builder extraordinaire- the insightful and passionate, Elsie Escobar.

A podcaster herself since 2006, at the time of this recording, Elsie is getting ready to be inducted into the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame at the upcoming Podcast Movement conference. Among many accomplishments, she’s being recognized for her two impactful shows about podcasting The Feed – The Official Libsyn Podcast and She Podcasts, the podcast for women about podcasting and new media from the woman’s point of view.

Elsie has a lot to say about podcasting… she’s a self-proclaimed die hard podcast junkie, who especially loves to help women like myself find clarity and power in our voice and shift the narrative to focus on the things that matter most, not the numbers or downloads, but the transformative power of podcasting and expanding our podcasting audience.

Elsie and her She Podcasts partner Jessica Kupferman have developed together an incredible Facebook group with thousands of members, many of us mothers, on a quest to bring our mission forward through podcasting while showing up fully for our children in the magic and also the mess of motherhood.

Pursuing podcasting and motherhood is Elsie’s She Podcasts partner Jessica, who dedicated this week’s episode to Elsie herself and spoke about Elsie’s tremendous empathy. This empathic quality of Elsie’s comes through in our conversation in the way she talks about “creating space” for her children, for her passion, for dialogue that elevates and for understanding the needs and behaviors of podcast listeners.

In this episode, we cover a lot of territory, from Elsie’s roots in El Salvador and how she saw her mother reinvent herself after they emigrated to the US to the power and potential of podcasting to reach the ears of those who are underrepresented and need it most.

It was such an honor to have this time with Elsie, to experience her fire and passion first-hand and hear her call to amplify women’s voices, change the conversation to the things that really matter, and  bring the transformative power of podcasting into our communities.

Elsie gave me a personal challenge to step outside of my digital comfort zone and go to my local library to find mothers where they are and bring Mother’s Quest to them. I’m inspired to expand and stretch my voice, my impact and who I reach and welcome into my community. I hope this conversation will inspire you to do the same.

This Week’s Challenge:

Elsie gave me a personal challenge to step outside of my digital comfort zone and go to my local library, mother’s groups, or homeschooling co-ops and talk to someone in person about the Mother’s Quest Podcast.

She also shares another challenge to everyone to affirm, and share something that you love. Do it until sharing what you love expands, gets to the language that matches up with us, and enables you to eloquently share things that drive you. Again, do this challenge in person, and not online.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Consciously cultivating our podcast messages and giving podcast listeners “words they can repeat” and integrate into their own lives.
  • Elsies’ upbringing in El Salvador, move to the United States when she was 9, and seeing her mother step up and reinvent herself after emigrating to the United States.
  • “Creating space” for conversations with her children, especially when emotions are charged, and how her own partner spoke honestly with Elsie during difficult days after her children were born.
  • Using podcasting as a venue to create a more feminine impact, looking beyond more traditional masculine metrics.
  • How having the right business coaches has helped Elsie be everything she can be.
  • The importance for Elsie of being true to herself and how that enables her to attract people who support her and forms her community.
  • How socio-economics and cognitive behaviors affect the growth of podcasting
  • The importance of expanding podcasting to those who are underrepresented: seniors, those who don’t have access to healthcare, the ones that feel alone, people battling addiction, people who need to hear a voice that is like theirs
  • A challenge to move beyond our digital comfort zones and reach into communities to expand our podcast audiences

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Announcements

Q & A on the Transformative Power of Podcasting with Erica Gordon – Let’s continue this conversation inspired by Elsie’s episode with a Q & A in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group with side business success strategist Erica Gordon of the Moms With Dreams Podcast, the week of August 13th, exact day and time TBA. Click link to join the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group and get invited to the event.

Visit the Website – If you haven’t yet visited the website, head over towww.mothersquest.com to explore some of the ways you can get more connected. At the site, you can sign up for our email list (to get show notes delivered to your inbox and our new “Mothers on a Quest” features), click the link to join the Facebook group and press record to leave a voice message for me. You can also download the FREE Live Your E.P.I.C. Life Planning and Reflection Sheets.

Sign up! – Free 30 minute Discovery Session

I’m rolling out my new coaching offerings and having great conversations with women who are ready to live a more E.P.I.C. life and interested in coaching. If you’ve had a spark moment setting you on a new path or are at a crossroads but feel unsure, guilty or overwhelmed, I’d love to talk with you about how working with me could help light the way, get you clear about what you want, shift your mindset from fear to faith, and get you moving into action.

I’ve been there, I’m still on the journey myself, and I’d love to bring all I’ve learned from a decade of coaching, 13 years of motherhood and all the lessons from my podcast guests to support you. Send me an email at julie@mothersquest.com or sign up for a free discovery call by clicking this link if you’re interested in learning more.

Acknowledgements

A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:

  • Jessica Kupferman of She Podcasts
  • Resistance Artist Jen Jenkins Dohner
  • Genese Harris
  • Tonya Rineer, founder of The Profit Party
  • Liane Louie-Badua
  • Cristin Downs of the Notable Woman Podcast
  • Erin Kendall of Fit Mom Go
  • Niko Osoteo of Bear Beat Productions
  • Erik Newton of The Together Show
  • Claire Fry
  • Divya Silbermann
  • Rachel Winter
  • Caren and Debbie Lieberman
  • Cameron Miranda
  • Fran and David Lieberman
  • Debbie and Alan Goore
  • Jenise and Marianne of the Sustainable Living Podcast

Support the Podcast

If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Two of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution http://mothersquest.com/be-a-supporter/

If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com

Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.

Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. lifeEngaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).

Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

Subscribe to the Podcast! We are available in these channels:

    

Episode #5: Live your E.P.I.C. Life to Help Your Children Thrive
Ep 16: Rising Up with Paola Mendoza

Ep 16: Rising Up with Paola Mendoza


The value of putting yourself in someone else’s perspective, with compassion, is something that this week’s guest, filmmaker and activist Paola Mendoza, consciously creates through her storytelling.

And, boldly moving forward through difficult times is something Paola talks passionately about– as she reflects on how she moved from feelings of failure after the election and rose up, channelling those emotions into a passionate co-creation of the Women’s March–what became the largest world-wide gathering in history.

In addition to being a key organizer and the Artistic Director of the Women’s March on Washington, Paola is an acclaimed actress, director, screenwriter, and author.

She was recently named one of Filmmaker Magazine 25 New Faces of Independent Film for her body of work which includes Refinery 29, BROKEN TAIL LIGHT, FREE LIKE THE BIRDS, and Z for ZENDAYA. She made her narrative directorial debut with the film she wrote, starred in and co-directed about her mother, Entre Nos, which had its world premiere at Tribeca Film Festival and was awarded Honorable Mention.

Entre Nos told the deeply personal story of Paola, her brother, and her mother’s journey as immigrants to the United States from Colombia and the challenges they experienced. It went on to win over twenty awards at film festivals from around the world and ultimately became the novel, The Ones Who Don’t Stay.

Paola shares about the impact her mother had on her, what it was like to tell her mother’s story, the role of art in building compassion, and what it means to step into activism from a place of love, and the things you stand for, but also for what you boldly stand against.

We spent time talking about moving past fear, sacrificing your privilege, and teaching your children to do the same in order to help others.

These were things Paola powerfully demonstrated just two days after we recorded this interview, when she was arrested for civil disobedience at the Day Without a Woman strike in New York City.

Paola is a strong force but also has a softness about her, which comes through as she talks about her relationship with her four year old son, Mateo, how time with him is part of her self-care, and how they spend what they call “Adventure Fridays” together. I heard about her solid partnership with fellow activist, entrepreneur and storyteller Michael Skolnik and about the E.P.I.C. snapshot moment Michael captured of Paola taking in all she created the day of the Women’s March in D.C.

Looking back, I’m amazed that Paola was so present during her conversation with me given what she was in the midst of organizing just days later. I could tell she did so because she wanted me and those listening to know how important it is to take action based on our beliefs, that activism takes many shades and forms, and that with privilege comes tremendous responsibility to participate in our political system and stand for social justice.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • The profound impact her mother had on Paola’s life, and what it was like to tell her mother’s courageous story as an immigrant to the U.S., in her film Entre Nos

  • Paola’s way of connecting with her son through “Adventure Fridays”

  • The role of art and activism in growing compassion in other people

  • The importance of emphasizing both what you stand for and also what you stand against

  • With privilege comes responsibility, and how Paola hopes to teach her son to sacrifice his privilege to help other people

  • Ultimately, it’s not about falling or failing, it’s about how you rise up and how Paola’s metaphor of “running a relay” sustains her activism

  • Paola’s challenge to us to “participate”…to get involved in a local issue and attend a town hall meeting during the next congressional recess.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Announcements

If you haven’t yet visited the website, I want to invite you to head over to mothersquest.com to explore some of the ways you can get more connected. At the site, you can sign up for our email list to have show notes delivered to your inbox, click the link to join the Facebook group and press record to leave a voice message for me.

Help me Create the Finale!! – I would love to hear which are your favorite moments from the podcast and how what you are hearing and learning is impacting your E.P.I.C. life. I plan to highlight those moments from the different episodes, and your voices, in the season finale coming in early April. So do head over to mothersquest.com and use the voice message tool to tell me who you are, your favorite moment, and the impact it has had on you.

Finally, I invite you to schedule a free 15 minute planning session where I can help you bring more intention to your life using the Live Your E.P.I.C. Life Planning and Reflection Sheets which you can download for FREE at www.mothersquest.com/reflectionsheets. Email me at julie@mothersquest.com to set a time.

A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial support:

  • Divya Silbermann who dedicated this week’s episode
  • Rachel Winter
  • Caren and Debbie Lieberman
  • Cameron Miranda
  • Fran and David Lieberman
  • Debbie and Alan Goore
  • Jenise and Marianne of the Sustainable Living Podcast

 


Want to join the patrons above and help support more meaningful conversations such as these? Visit the Mother’s Quest Patreon Page to become a regular patron or visit this link www.mothersquest.com/be-a-supporter to make a one-time donation.

If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com


Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.

Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, engaging mindfully with their children (E), passionately and purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), investing in themselves (I), and connecting to a strong support network (C).

Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

Subscribe to the Podcast! We are available in these channels:

    

Episode #5: Live your E.P.I.C. Life to Help Your Children Thrive
Ep 15: Superpowers and Service with Karen Baker

Ep 15: Superpowers and Service with Karen Baker


I’m excited to share this Episode #15 with you– a conversation with Karen Baker, a mentor of mine who played a pivotal role in connecting me to a career of service.

It’s not surprising because connecting people to service is Karen’s super power. Karen has been making matches her whole life, but she currently brings this gift to her role as the Chief Service Officer of CaliforniaVolunteers, where she serves under Governor Brown. Karen has 20 years of innovative leadership in all facets of the service and volunteering sector, including local and national non-profits and federal agencies. In 2008, she was appointed by Former California Governor Schwarzenegger to serve as the first-in-the-nation state cabinet Secretary of Service and Volunteering.

Karen is also an amazing mom to 2 children, Ella and Christopher, both adopted at birth by Karen and her husband. In our conversation, we talk about the ways in which Karen’s parents and seven siblings inspired her to be of service to others, how she brings that service to her work at CaliforniaVolunteers, and how she has learned to put needs out there and watch as a community rises up to meet them, most recently experienced as Karen led efforts to respond to the Oroville Dam disaster.

We also talk about her experience parenting children with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, how she using a morning playlist and thoughtful nighttime ritual in between the “madness in the middle,” to ground herself and her children, and how she is learning to take time and find new ways to invest in herself and her relationships.

It was a total joy for me to reconnect with my mentor Karen and I left the conversation so appreciative of the work she does in my state of California, reminded of the importance of using our superpowers to benefit others, and inspired to engage my own children in service. I hope you too find this conversation an inspiration to uncover and channel your family’s superpowers to create a service legacy.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • How Karen used her superpower, helping people find their vocation and passion, to set me on my career path after college
  • The lesson Karen’s civically-minded parents imparted to her and her siblings of the duty  to people who have no one else to support them
  • Book-ending your day between the “madness in the middle” with a  morning playlist and a thoughtful question before bedtime
  • Moving from isolation to community when raising children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
  • The power of putting your needs out there and having faith that the right people will come into your work and life to fill those needs
  • Living a life of service and utilizing your superpowers to give and receive positive energy and find solutions
  • Karen’s recent E.P.I.C. life moment when she was called by to respond to the Oroville Dam disaster and saw a community rise up to meet the needs

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Announcements

If you haven’t yet visited the website, I want to invite you to head over to mothersquest.com to explore some of the ways you can get more connected. At the site, you can sign up for our email list to have show notes delivered to your inbox, click the link to join the Facebook group and press record to leave a voice message for me.

I would love to hear which are your favorite moments from the podcast and how what you are hearing and learning is impacting your E.P.I.C. life. I plan to highlight those moments from the different episodes, and your voices, in the season finale coming in early April. So do head over to mothersquest.com and use the voice message tool to help me create an amazing season finale.

Finally, I invite you to schedule a free 15 minute planning session where I can help you bring more intention to your life using the Live Your E.P.I.C. Life Planning and Reflection Sheets which you can download for FREE at www.mothersquest.com/reflectionsheets.

A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial support:

  • Rachel Winter
  • Caren and Debbie Lieberman
  • Cameron Miranda
  • Fran and David Lieberman
  • Debbie and Alan Goore
  • Jenise and Marianne of the Sustainable Living Podcast

Want to join the patrons above and help support more meaningful conversations such as these? Visit the Mother’s Quest Patreon Page to become a regular patron or visit this link www.mothersquest.com/be-a-supporter to make a one-time donation.

If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com


Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.

Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, engaging mindfully with their children (E), passionately and purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), investing in themselves (I), and connecting to a strong support network (C).

Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

Subscribe to the Podcast! We are available in these channels:

    

Episode #5: Live your E.P.I.C. Life to Help Your Children Thrive